Recently, I watched a video.[1] Proposing that loving ourselves is not a feeling; loving ourselves is our job. At first, the speaker implied: what if we are simply an extension of consciousness, spiritual conscious awareness assigned to inhabit and nurture a human mind and body? Our job is to care for the well-being of the human we are assigned, and with that understanding, how does that change my perspective about how I live my life?

Now, we, as addicts, know that if loving ourselves as caretakers is our job, we must be doing a lousy job to end up here in rehab and recovery. And, being the savvy, streetwise users that we are, we immediately and intuitively ask: “How am I supposed to love myself when I can’t even find a way to like myself?” But here’s the kicker: we don’t have to like ourselves to love our “human.”

The fact that we are here (in Recovery), still walking around, trying to survive, is a sign that our Higher Power still loves us. The truth is, we are all addicts gathered together in Recovery, remembering, deep down, that we must still love ourselves or we wouldn’t be here. Together, we are remembering that our true nature is unconditional Love, the universal energy source that causes our hearts to beat our lungs to breathe—even when we don’t like ourselves—the unconditional Love energy that we all share is reflected between all of us in this community—no matter our background or the story of how we got here.

Okay, let’s start there: evidently, we love ourselves, or we wouldn’t be in Recovery, trying to survive. So, if I fundamentally love myself, what is my “f-ing” problem? The real problem is that I can’t find a way to like myself enough to stay sober. When it comes to liking ourselves, we tend to get hung up on the question: what is my purpose in life; why the hell am I here because I think being here—living in addiction—sucks?

So, my message is that liking ourselves begins when we stop comparing ourselves to everyone and everything we are taught as the right look, behavior, and possessions in this man-made society, which tries to control the natural, ever-changing world. We must remember that before being conditioned and traumatized by our dysfunctional families, outdated cultures, broken school systems, judgmental religions, and corrupt politics, we came from universal creative energy; we are naturally creative—that’s how we survive.  Learning to like myself is the end of comparison on the outside and the beginning of asking the question, Who am I on the inside? We are the creative activity of Consciousness, which is constantly flowing, universal “Love energy.”

Our job is to stay aware, which means staying sober and remembering that our survival depends on creating a world that reflects the Love we project. Sharing the activity of Love is how and why we are here. Learning to like ourselves comes from understanding that truth; when we can calm the waters of our conditioned mind so that the way we live projects the Love flowing from within us, the world reflects Love back into our lives. The self-ego disappears when there is no comparison, and only Love remains when we live with ever-present, sober, true Self-awareness. And who doesn’t like that?

[1] Matthew Hussey Reveals Why He Doesn’t Love “Self-Love” | The Drew Barrymore Show

VAB  07-10-25

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