I have previously written about hitting bottom—at the age of sixty—after surviving forty-five years of my alcohol addiction. I shared about that point of desperation in my addiction when my egoic mind could no longer identify with any ideas, concepts, or beliefs that could end my cravings to escape the physical pain and mental suffering that was constantly being triggered and replayed in my head. My mind and body were exhausted. Little did I know that hitting bottom was the moment my self-ego would fall apart and vanish in humiliation. I humbly admitted that I was powerless over alcohol. I reached a state of selflessness, where my ego shamefully surrendered its illusion of being real to my Higher Power of true Self-awareness, which I did not yet fully understand.

Hitting bottom was the effortless act of letting go of my past in selfless humility, and the still awakening of sober awareness in the present moment—my ever-present Higher Power.

For me, Recovery started by becoming aware that my addiction to thinking—my past—is the root cause of all my substance addictions. I used things outside of myself to escape feelings within from the constant repetition of my hard-wired past—trying to change my previous lack of self-love, which is impossible, and to avoid the consequences of projecting loveless resentments onto others, which is being irresponsible. Only through compassion—selfless, nonjudgmental acceptance—can I heal the transgressions of my past—Now.

Staying humble, by continuing to surrender attachments that define my self-ego, frees me from my core addiction of constantly reliving the past in my mind, and from the “added” substances I use to escape my feelings when they arise—so, staying sober means staying humble by staying aware of my addictions in the present moment, where the self-ego—trapped in time—can’t exist!

So, what attachment to your addictions have you identified that you need to surrender to stay sober today—to be humble so that you can be free of the past?

“Selflessness is humility. Humility and freedom go hand in hand. Only a humble person can be free.” ― Jeff Wilson, Buddhism of the Heart: Reflections on Shin Buddhism and Inner Togetherness

VAB  11-13-25

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