For most of us, when we check into Detox and Recovery, we have no idea how we are going to stay sober when we leave. All we know is that we had to temporarily surrender our addiction to keep from losing what we do have—to survive: our health, our livelihood, our loved ones, our self-respect, and, ultimately, our will to live—our life!
The reason we are here in this Recovery community is to learn about sober pathways that have worked for other addicts, like us, to sustain long-term sobriety when we leave treatment.
When I came here, I was sixty years old, and I was professionally successful: I was retired, I had traveled around the world working my career, and I was lucky enough to have decent health, but I couldn’t stop my addiction—I could not stop drinking. So, when it came to Recovery, I had nothing: I had no idea how to stop my addiction, even for a day, let alone the rest of my life.
Now, I was a problem solver in my professional career. I solved challenges in Nature with mechanical solutions, even beneath oceans and in remote corners of the world. But I could not solve the addiction problem in my head that was covering up the pain and suffering of past mental wounds: the hard-wired life experiences that were imprinted in my brain.
I had to find a way to heal my past. I couldn’t change my past; that’s impossible, but I learned that I can heal my past now, with compassionate loving-kindness. The trick is to find a way, while I’m here in Recovery, while I’m sober, that I can try to follow, that will give me the best chance to stay sober long-term, which always begins with one day at a time.
I’ve been sober now for eight and a half years, ever since leaving Detox and Recovery, and I’m not an AA guy. I do go to AA meetings every week, but I have never been sponsored through the 12-step program. I go to AA meetings to be part of this community of compassionate, loving-kindness. I stay sober by hanging out with sober people, even with people who only have a 24-hour desire chip; people who have no idea how they’re going to stay sober when they leave here.
See, this is what I’m sharing with you today: to stay sober, we have to start doing sober things. We have to start building new wiring in our brain; sober-wiring that gets stronger the more often we fire it, instead of firing the old hard-wired patterns of addiction that we can’t remove. We can’t change the old hard-wiring, but we can work around our addictions with new sober-wiring by doing sober things today, and every day going forward.
Like Rumi says: “As you start to walk on the way, the way appears.” You started walking on your way when you walked into Detox and Recovery. If you stay sober, one day your way will appear—the sober way you might follow for the rest of your life!
VAB 12- Feb-26
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