How do I know that by getting sober and staying sober in Recovery, I am strong enough to try staying sober on my own when I leave my sober community? The truth is, that is a trick question, because if I couldn’t stay sober by myself before I came into treatment to learn about Recovery, how the hell am I supposed to stay sober, after just a few weeks of learning how other people tried to stay sober, and many of them relapsed not long after leaving; because, it turns out, those sobriety tools I learned about, by themselves, aren’t enough to keep me sober on my own?

That’s the real question we should be asking: Why do so many people relapse so quickly, after humbling themselves enough to enter Rehab, and spend their time, money, and emotional capital learning how to stay sober with other like-minded addicts in a Recovery community of unconditional Love, where it felt like they were starting to heal? Well, the answer is in the question: For many of us unfortunates, we leave and soon after we lose connection with the only source of unconditional Love in our lives—we let go of our lifeline: the unconditional Love we found in our Recovery community that saved us, and we jumped right back into the stormy seas of our lives, which had nearly drowned us before—with an untested life-preserver we just finished piecing together in Rehab!  

So, what are our chances of staying sober on our own while being tossed and turned in the same ocean of booze, drugs, and every other addiction that surrounds us every day? Are you willing to bet on your ability to land the plane if you’re flying solo in sobriety for the first time?

Don’t get tricked into thinking I did my time in Recovery, I listened, I paid attention, I took notes, hell, I even kept a journal, I can do this, I got this…

Then, we get out, and it dawns on us: Oh Shit! I’m out here all alone, and I’ve never flown my sobriety on my own before. Shit, what did I do with all those sobriety tools? When should I use them? How often should I use them? Do these tools always work? What if they don’t apply in every situation?

What did they say about staying connected, going to meetings, reaching out when Life gets tough? What did I do with those phone numbers? Who should I call? What now?

Stay Connected! Stay Connected! Stay Connected: until you are strong enough to swim on your own. Then, stay close to shore until you find islands of unconditional Love in your life that you can safely reach as you grow your long-term sobriety. Stay Connected: until you finally realize that the only Love you need to survive is the Love that is constantly flowing from within you!

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VAB  03-12-26

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